This week I seem to be faced with dealing with people who want to make things my fault. This is easy enough for me to recognize. In my marriage, it was easy for my ex-husband to put the blame for everything on me. I don’t think he took responsibility for his actions. I, on the other hand, took responsibility for things that weren’t my fault. I don’t do that anymore.
My cousin was in town. She didn’t call me. She ran into my daughter at our church. Oops! How embarrassing. I bet she didn’t think that would happen but it did. She left her number with my daughter. I called her a week and a half after I felt assured she had left town. I told her I was just leaving my number for her.
Guess what? My cousin is angry with me about a headstone incident that happened three years ago with another cousin. I guess this cousin has taken it upon herself to add to the incident. She will now be responsible for restoring family headstones. WOW! I told her I couldn’t talk because I had some other things going on. I ended the conversation with “well, at least now you have my number.”
Really? An incident that happened three years ago is the reason you can’t call me when you come to town now? And it’s my fault. I don’t think so.
I saw my neighbors wife at fair. The neighbor who shot my dog. She came up to me and tried to explain the reason her husband shot my dog was my fault. I ended the conversation very quickly by saying “I have somewhere I need to be.” I left.
Really? You want to blame me for you shooting my dog. I don’t think so. You were in complete control of that rifle. You told me you “laid in wait for her.”
Some dear friends have lent me their car while mine is in the shop. We make jokes about “the tracker” because I have had to duck tape the back window. The car barely fits the four of us. Nonetheless, we are very thankful to have a vehicle and the jokes are fun for all.
Last night I went to Walmart, with my 14 year old son, to get some groceries. Again a joke because I can’t get very many groceries, they won’t fit in “the tracker.”
Two things happened. First, someone I had a confrontation with about four years ago was there. She walked right up to me and we started talking and sharing. She is a Christian. Somewhere in our walks of faith we have been able to forgive and I believe forget because I don’t remember exactly what our disagreement was about. Funny how God brings people back into our lives in His time and right when we need them.
The second thing that happened was in the parking lot at Walmart. I opened the driver side door and it hit the car next to me. The door caused a small scratch and I immediately felt bad. I climbed into the back and close the door. In order to get the groceries into “the tracker” we have to shoved them behind the back seat. This takes organization skills. When I had finished, I opened up the drivers side door again and again it hit the car next to me.
The owner of the car was pissed. It wasn’t a very big scratch. I could buff it out with a damp towel. Or better yet, color it in with a sharpie.
She asked me, “what are you gonna do about this?”
I said, “I’m gonna get in my car and drive away.”
She said, “This is a 30,000 dollar new car.”
I said, “Well, don’t worry about it. You can afford to get it fixed.”
She said, “I’m gonna take down your license plate.”
Please keep in mind that “the tracker” is duck taped to hold it together.
I said, “I wouldn’t do that if I were you. This isn’t my car.”
She said, “I’m gonna call the cops.”
I said, “I wouldn’t do that either. After all I’ve been through this summer the cops know me by name.”
She said, “I know a lot of cops, too.”
I got in “the tracker” and drove off.
I haven’t heard if the cops were called.
A brand new $30,000 car. If it were me, I would have parked in the back and taken up two spaces just to be sure no one hit my car in the Walmart parking lot.
O.K. maybe I’m taking the whole not-my-fault thing too far. It’s not that I’m not willing to take responsibility for my actions. I think I am. But don’t make me responsible for your actions.