I’ve been spending some time reminiscing about the last six months. Remembering all the things that I have had to manage. None of it was easy but all of it brought strength to me through Jesus Christ.
I think about the time I spent at the doctor with my son who had been stepped on by the horse. I think about the times I sat up with my other son as he struggled through migraine headaches. Or the time my car’s check engine light came on. I checked the fluids myself and filled what fluids seemed low. The check engine light went off and hasn’t come on again. All of this welcomed me into the world of single parenting.
I think about the day I received a note from someone at D.F.S. She left the note in the mailbox. I had to bring my youngest son in to talk with her. Two weeks later a sheriff showed up at my gate. He was there to do a wellness check. Both of these incidents were a result of my husband calling authorities accusing me of neglect. Both were found to be untrue.
I think about the numerous times the sheriff has stopped at our gate to serve me some sort of legal papers. I have had to walk from our house to the road to be greeted with a summons or some other legal matter that was brought about by my husband’s demands for retribution.
I think about the times I went to my mailbox to find the only mail I received that day was an anonymous letter telling me I was a horrible person and accusing me of things that are not true. The letters were hard, harder still was hearing from other people about the letters they received accusing them of things that are not true. The effects of these letters resulted in physical and emotional pain.
I think about the weeks prior to my husband’s leaving. The wind blew horribly almost every night. I laid downstairs on the couch. I could hear my husband walking around upstairs at 3 in the morning. I would lie on the couch wondering if tonight was the night he was going to kill me. I would pray for God to save my soul.
All of this is written in my journals, the days, the nights, the fears, the hopes. In September, after the divorce is final and all the details of debts and ownership is worked out I’m going to add my journal entries into a newsletter. I hope you’ll look for it, I hope you’ll subscribe to it; I hope you’ll read it, I hope you’ll share it with others who are living through marriage, divorce and life.