Jackie Chan is one of the greatest martial artists ever. He has been a part of over 100 films and has some of the most entertaining action films (“Crime Story” and “The Legend of Drunken Master” being personal favorites) in his resume. Jackie Chan is a legend, but as he’s getting older and is finally starting to slow down with his acting roles it’s time to reflect on his legacy.
After doing a little digging, Jackie Chan seems to purposely make a fool of himself in most of the photographs that are taken of him. There are some really ridiculous modeling photos of Jackie Chan out there and he’s chosen the absolute worst combinations of clothing to wear over the years. Thankfully there’s photographic proof and there’s so much of it that it was incredibly difficult to dwindle it down to just 20 images for this article.
Since he’s been a part of so many projects and has been acting for so long it’s pretty humorous to see the effects of each time period in the hand gestures, body language, and most of all the clothes Jackie Chan chooses to wear in these snapshots from events that were supposed to be remembered for some reason. So put on your favorite pair of riffing cutoff jean shorts and top it off by slipping into your oversized cynical sweater and prepare to stumble through time with Jackie Chan.
Jackie Chan’s closet is a time machine
Jackie Chan in Texas, ladies and gentlemen. I wasn’t even aware he’d been through this state. Notice the toy gun and long pinky nail.
Brown overalls, a long sleeved red shirt, and a giant yellow sombrero. Happy Cinco de Mayo, everyone. I hope he’s standing barefoot in a giant plate of nachos and that’s why he looks so satisfied. “Yes, yes. This is the true taste of Mexican cuisine.”
Hey! Get out of my room!
I like to imagine Jackie just burst into some little girl’s room during the 70s, noticed a camera, and then this was the pose that was cemented in history forever.
Whatever you do don’t stop the music
Is this a Chippendale tryout? The background makes it seem like a mugshot where wearing a V-neck shirt made out of fishing net was obviously the only suitable attire.
Is that a scared mannequin in the background?
It’s like a Magic Eye optical illusion made into a jumpsuit. Even the mannequin doesn’t know what to say. Thankfully the sunglasses bring it all together.
Fruit Stripe Gum
Does this remind anyone else of Fruit Stripe Gum? Maybe it’s more barber shop-esque. Those black and yellow sneakers and knee socks rolled down to the ankle save the outfit from being a complete disaster.
Let’s hit the slopes
Brown ski lift sweater? Check. White shorts? Check. Bowling shoe sneakers with huge white tongues? Check. Ready to confuse the hell out of Mother Nature? Check.
This couldn’t possibly be more 90s. Wearing absolutely every color imaginable has to count for something, right? Jackie is wearing a short sleeved short over a long sleeved shirt and bicycle shorts over sweat pants while skateboarding. This is how you travel through time.
National Geographic: The shirt
Why would anyone wear or buy this shirt? It’s like having the pages of National Geographic graze across the tender parts of your torso whenever the wind blows.
What a glorious rainbow
This wouldn’t be so bad if it wasn’t for the vest that looked like a clown threw up on it. This vest was actually discovered at the opposite end of the rainbow; the side without the pot of gold.
Oh God! Why?
Not so much a rib on what Jackie is wearing, but whatever he is wearing was able to conjure up a third hand. There’s a portal in that tree somewhere, I guarantee it.
Why is no one commenting on my belt-purse?
Not only is Jackie wearing two belts, but that second belt is also part fanny pack and part purse. Plus the belt buckle looks like it’s chiseled out of gold. Today is going to rock so hard.
You said this was a costume party
Did Jackie mug Daisy Duck and hide her in the broom closet somewhere? Part of me would be able to accept this if Jackie had his hat on straight. Get your $#!@ together, Jackie. When I said this party was “fancy dress,” I didn’t expect you to take it so seriously.
Mine is good, but yours is better
I feel like we’re missing something here like what type of ice cream are they eating and does that umbrella stand behind them solely sell cheap multicolored toys in plastic bags?
One swift punch to the face and you’ll be healed
Let me just get drunk and roundhouse kick that brain tumor right out of your head. Thank goodness the ceremonial robe fits in with Jackie’s tendency to wear 18 colors at once.
Nothing comes between me and my Calvins
This man is running around commando in nothing but overalls. How does he sleep at night? More importantly how the hell is he not chafing something fierce under there?
You’re dreaming if you think that dog is sleeping in the bed
Can we just admire the fact that the dog isn’t even paying attention? Jackie made it a point to wear a suit with a dog while the dog couldn’t even be decent enough to get a haircut. You’re getting sloppy in your old ages, Sprinkles.
I’ll flag someone down for help
It must get ridiculously hot in the rainforest. So hot that you have to tie your shirt in a knot to try and flag down strangers. But he does look fabulous, doesn’t he girls?
Nivea: Irresistibly smooth
This lake was full of boats when Jackie first arrived. They all ran for the hills when they saw him wearing those cutoff jean shorts that barely cover his sack.
Act surprised, but try to look comfortable at the same time
This might be my favorite picture on the internet. I can’t look at this without cracking up. This is one of the most hilarious poses in the existence of photographs.