On January 10, 2013, I lost my mother to heart disease. While she was in hospice I found myself reflecting back on our past. Although I was at the beginning of my grieving process I tried to hold on to what was instilled within me for the last 41 years. As I sat in the chair observing her beauty I found myself wondering about her grieving process with grandmother. What was she thinking twenty six years ago during grandmother’s last days? Did she wonder how she was going to get through her agonizing pain? How difficult it must have been for my mother considering she was the only child and having to let go of the most important person in her life. I know she felt that things would never be the same. I know she had to find her way to deal with her own grieving process. Did she feel she was all alone in this great big world? Did she know that her faith and her connection with God and the “I Am” within her would bring tranquility? Unfortunately, I will never know. However, I am comforted knowing that this is a never ending process…death is inevitable and each person must find their way to find comfort during a love one’s transition.
In my book, “Love On The Mulberry Grove,” I wrote about Louisa having to deal with Gilbert’s death, “She was now turning to God for strength. She realized that death was inevitable, and instead of praying for God to not take her husband away, she prayed that Gilbert’s death would be one of peace, and asked God to give her the strength to go forward with life” (Styles, p. 133, 2012). Amazingly, our worlds have collided and the words that I had written with my mother would be the “mantra” I would need to get through these circumstances. I guess in a way she gave me this knowing that one day I would need it for my own grieving process…she was right.
Thank You, Mom!