Divorce is not the terrible scenario that Debi Pearl describes. She write .. “But many young men have survived this (sexual desire) in spite of the increased temptation. Few survive an unstable marriage where Mother resents Daddy.”
Most children do survive an unstable marriage and many thrive after Mommy and Daddy get divorced. Many, like my own children, are actually more optimistic about their future than before their parents divorced. Having Daddy in the house and not knowing what his unpredictable temperament might bring has been replaced with stability and peace.
Debi insist the wife should have “lower expectations” in regards to her husband. I agree because her husband is not up to becoming the full man, husband or father that God intended for him to be. He couldn’t possibly grow, learn or desire to be more of the man he needs to be to meet Gods higher expectation. The wife should really just resign herself to being married to an idiot and that is just the way it is.
Debi describes divorce in the worst possible scenario. A lonely woman, barely making ends meet, no available men out there because she is a single mom and babysitters that don’t love your children but only take care of them for money. This is an insult to all of the child care providers that are fulfilling their God given calling to love children as God loves them.
Debi has a very narrow outlook on the world. I interpret her writing to also suggest that an adopted mom or step mom would never love children as much as a biological mother. Even if the biological mother is abusive emotionally and physically.
Certainly, in the last few months since my husband left (praise the LORD!) I have met numerous divorced women. I have talked with numerous women about friends of theirs that have gotten divorced. What I have heard repeated over and over again is that God has provided for these women. GOD provides abundantly for those who believe no matter your marital status.
I have heard more than one story where God has brought a Godly companion into the life of a woman who was faithful to Christ. These women who had the courage and integrity to end marriages that made them less than Christ intended have been blessed by marriages and companionship that is EVERYTHING God intended and exceeds their expectation.
Some of these divorced women do not live in squalor but instead thrive in their independence and reliance on God not man.
If the list of grievances you have against your husband is as long as the woman in Chapter 7 you have every right to be upset. This man isn’t taking any kind of responsibility to become the man God has intended him to be. This wife is complaining that he left her. I would say celebrate, don’t despair but praise the Lord he has been pruned from the bush! Concentrate on becoming the kind of Christian woman God will bless with a man who loves God. The kind of husband that will bring to the marriage a real and devoted relationship. The kind of marriage we celebrate not pity.
Stop trying to force something to work that doesn’t meet Gods glory and stop feeling bad because it isn’t.
Yes, look around at this new breed of woman. She is confident, courageous and capable of supporting herself and her children. She has time and money to meet their needs because she knows that it is God who provides.
This new breed of woman is your doctor or lawyer, she is your dentist and your therapist, she is your child’s teacher and the school principal. She is your Pastor.
She is divorced, living a full and meaningful life devoted to Christ and she doesn’t need a man to do any of that for her.