I begin with the book <em>”Created to Be His Help Meet,” </em>by Debi Pearl.
Granted I am going into this review quite discontented in my marriage. It is my third, as I have stated before. I have some prejudice about reading it because I think it is a personal doctrine not substantiated truthfully through scripture.
My own marriage is in trouble. It is ending. I pray peacefully. That is where the “whatnowJesus?” comes into play. I pray Gods will be done and just as the cup wasn’t taken away from Jesus my cup hasn’t been taken away from me either.
After years of counseling, marriage and individual, I am still left shattered in pieces on a regular basis. Mrs. Pearls book emphasizes for me what I have already been indoctrinated into. I have learned that if I only say the right thing, giggle at the right time, smile seductively and take the bullshit, that my marriage will be saved and we will live happily every after. NOT TRUE!
I believe marriage is a partnership. I believe we have an emotional bank account. If deposits aren’t made into our accounts but only withdrawals it leaves us empty and shattered. It is hart to find a smile when all it is met with is anger and hurt.
I know I have only read the first two chapters but I have to ask : “Where is the husband taking personal responsibility for his actions and emotions?” I guess I could deal with it being my fault in the first two chapters if there was some mention of positive accountability for the husband in the next two chapters.
Where is the husband’s willingness to put on a smile before entering the house with flowers? Can he come home with any countenance and we are to merely smile and sheepishly giggle. Doesn’t our partner also have to decide before walking in the door to put on a smile and put laughter in his voice before venting on us his days frustrations?