For many spouse it is difficult for them be supportive of their spouse’s high maintenance career. What struggles could you think of would exist for you if your spouse traveled a lot on business or just simply kept long work hours. Marriage, and certainly parenthood, can kill a career.
You’ve probably heard stories about those bosses who resent married folk who try to leave work on time and cause friction among married and single employees. If you’re a woman, you likely put off telling your boss you were getting married for fear he or she would hear it as a resignation.
With those kinds of attitudes and that kind of pressure, you need the support of your spouse to succeed in their career. Here’s what you can do to support each other’s career, and therefore create a bright, financially secure future for your new family. Never mind all the underlying dysfunction that causes spouses not to trust each other; we’ll save that for another time.
Let’s say life is good, the husband and wife are trusting and loyal. The marriage is challenged by work travel due to length of time gone, managing the kids and so on. For one, you have to believe in your spouse, know that she is good at her job and her co-workers believe in her too. This is harder than it sounds.
As you got to know your spouse, you began to see something inside him or her that set him apart from all others. It’s one of the reasons you fell in love and decided to get married. That special something – that spark and charm, should be enough reasons to believe that your spouse can fulfill career goals just as he or she has accomplished personal goals (like marrying you).
Tell your spouse you believe in him or her but also prove it. Keep track of his or her career and applaud at the appropriate moments. When things are not going so well, you can provide encouragement for your spouse by offering a pep talk, “You are great at what you do and things will get better because you’re great at what you do and I love you no matter what happens.”
You can also help your spouse get his or her mind off work on days off by doing something fun together. If he or she will be gone through a weekend make the trip to spend that time together, heck, there hotel is probably already covered. Yes, their job is important but so is your marriage.
Instead of complaining about how inconvenient it is, play a supportive part by being involved in some their down time. Dealing with work stress and martial stress will only build resentment. Be there for your spouse. When your spouse asks you to attend work functions (parties, award ceremonies, speeches, or retreats), you must go.
Not only must you attend, but you also must be dressed appropriately, wear a smile no matter how boring the event, and make polite small talk with your spouse’s colleagues. Your job is to make a good impression because you are, after all, a reflection of your spouse. It is your job be as supportive as possible and lend a helping hand.
Refrain from criticizing your spouse’s work or meddling in projects or problems with co-workers. But you can feel free to step up to the plate once your spouse has asked you for help or advice. Then, you can offer constructive criticism and suggestions in a gentle way. For example, you might say, “Honey, your idea about creating a slide show for the presentation is great, but you might consider taking that a step further by making a video with images and audio, too.
With your creativity, you could really wow them!” By starting the explanation with praise and showing enthusiasm for the initial idea, you will surely win over your spouse, and help him or her do an even better job. Sacrifices. Sacrifices. Sacrifices. Most Americans today are expected to be on call 24-seven for their jobs.
There is a lot of pressure to arrive at work before the boss and leave after him. If your spouse has to work late or take meetings during breakfast or dinner, or travel a lot, you have to tolerate it. Still, especially if the crazy hours or traveling is a temporary stepping stone to bigger and better positions, you should do your best to accept the situation.
Sacrifice time with your spouse now for a better future later. If that’s your situation, then you should do everything you can to make the time you are together count.
For more articles on marriage issues: http://tapeunit.com/marriage-in-wichita-falls/jack-lopez